Lets see, hopefully everybody had a wonderful fourth of July weekend, mine went well.  Spent some quality time with the boyfriend, and met new friends along the way.  That's always nice. 

    Last week was a little exciting, it was proof of why I am here living with my parents.  The scenario went like this, my dad had not been feeling good for a long while, and instead of making an urgent Dr's appointment he decided to wait a very long time, and allow it to get worse.  Considering his track record being a month in ICU, and between 7 to 10 hospital stays usually ranging to a week long, you would think that he might begin to act with a sort of urgency now......  Nope....  He's still pretty stinken stubborn, and extremely obstinate when it comes to caring for himself.  If I were sick however, he would cater to me, but that's a different story.  It was two days before the doctor's appointment that he waited a month for, and suddenly in looking at him he didn't look like he could see me, though his eyes were open, and he was speaking to me.  And then it happened, and it happens similar every time, he falls.  Be it from a standing position just walking, to standing up from sitting, he falls because his legs become weak and just let go.  He becomes so sleepy you would think he has been deprived for years, and his appetite falls non-exhistent.  I bring the phone to him, with 911 on speed dial, and since I know I wouldn't be on speaking terms with him once he got out of it (him not speaking to me that is) I ask him for one good reason why I shouldn't call.  He can't give it to me...  Then I proceed to explain to him that he's going in to the ER, either via ambulance or mom.  He prefers mom, but that was reconsidered when all hell broke loose for lack of a better term.  You see, I have learned now what liver failure (or at least the beginning stages of it) looks like.  When you have one that is perfectly normal, you would never notice it, isn't that always how it is though.  I never thought about my kidneys, until of course I had a kidney infection, then I was very painfully aware that they were there, as well as mad!

    The beginning stages of liver failure are fatigue, nausea, among other bodily issues, at least that's what they tell you on web-MD.  What it looks like though is very similar to a diabetic keto-acidosis, or for non diabetics food poisoning, either way, no fun for the party involved, or the ones watching.  So, off he went in the ambulance, for another hospital adventure, another surgery, another planned surgery, new meds, and back home to make it for the fireworks.  I truly wish, from the bottom of my soul that there actually was a Doctor House, yes he's an egotist who is pretty much a jerk, but he gets the job done.  From what I can see with my dad's situation, it has been almost three years since he was first in the ICU with doctors telling me that what he had he could survive, but they hadn't seen it in someone his age.  They have given him temporary fixes for his situations, and have never really been straight to the point as far as why this continues to happen.  At first it was gall stones obstructing his pancreas, so they removed his gall bladder, and some stones.  Now since the pancreatitis, his body is continuing to produce stones that are now consistently blocking his liver.  So that now, almost three years later, they think they have a solution?  Why on earth didn't they figure that in the first place?  Maybe, after, I dunno, the first four hospital visits?  I'm not a PhD, or an MD, but it would seem as though you would want to have a permanent fix to be an effective physician rather than throwing ideas out there, and to allow a person to suffer when you know of a permanent fix in the first place.  I dunno, seems like neglect to me, perhaps they view him as high risk.  Although he wasn't prior to his pancreatitis, before that he could've run circles around the very doctors that treat him!!

 

Anyways, hopefully everybody else's life isn't as exciting as the 'adventures' that I get to have.  And here I was looking forward to the camping trip that I'm taking to be my excitment, heh!

 

 

There always seems to be a constant wind that blows through my life to change it up a bit, and yet another has come through.  February 3rd marked the last day of my employment as a medical supply customer service representative.  Since then, it has been preparations abound, as well as an attempt to get out of said profession and move on to another I would much rather enjoy- one I would study for.  I have tossed myself into school, and perhaps somedays it's more of an attempt rather than a fact, the course that I'm taking at the moment has it's ups and downs, I seem to struggle with it more than most as a result of it being a lot of math.  I knew it would be difficult for me to tackle math projects, I guess I never realized that I apparently just don't think logically.  It doesn't speak to me in a manner that would allow for me to understand it, and though I have contacted my teacher with numerous questions I have fallen short of answers.  Hopefully my struggles aren't un-founded though, and eventually I can find myself to be a success at this course yet.  I may not be logically minded, but I'm certainly determined ...
My new unemployment position has given me no alternative, I must move house again.  It's a funny thing, I haven't really enjoyed where it is that I live, but I have certainly appreciated the freedom that living on your own allows you.  I have the alternative of living with my parents once again, and though this way I will feel less worried about them, my father's health being a constant concern, I'm not looking forward to the venture.  I have missed out on time with my parents as a result of living a half an hour away, but on the flipside I have learned things about myself that has allowed me to feel capable, something that was once very foreign to me.  There's a beauty to it that I never imagined.  Like most things that you experience at first glance it's intimidating, I have never experienced being on my own, and though Josh comes and stays with me Monday's Wednesday's and every other weekend- I have never been alone like this.  At first, I didn't like it, I was insecure and unnerved.  Now, I almost prefer it!  I enjoy the different things that I have grown accustomed to, sleeping spread out on my bed with my pillows lined up just right.  Listining to music while doing anything, or listening MPR in place of watching TV, ordering pizza and watching a movie by candlelite.  Plus there's the perk of when something is out of place 'you' did it, not anyone else.  It's nice .  Not to mention the biggest perk of all when you're on your own, summed up in two words....  NAKED TIME ...  *sigh* yes, I will miss it, but where one chapter ends, another is to begin...

Other than that I have been feeling rather creative, and have been trying to give myself an outlet for my creativity.  I have been writing, and thinking of new ways to communicate what my minds eye can see.  It's a work in progress, and I find that when I read a good enough book that invokes emotion, and uses picture perfect creativity I myself become inspired.  Any suggestions?

Well that's all for today folks, take care of you and yours, I'll be seeing you soon...